Monumental yet Insignificant Moments.
Background - This is a story of my journey. My early days deciding what path I wanted to follow.
Truth is, I wasn’t your ideal student. I truly despised studying. I was a major procrastinator and it showed in my grades. I always knew I wanted to be a business owner, I knew I wanted to do something that involved building houses. I ended up studying architecture because I thought they built houses. Boy was i wrong! I studied architecture at Temple University (TU), but the knowledge gap was so vastly different that I was so lost for the first 4 semesters of my education.
Let me start from the beginning. I was born and raised in Lagos Nigeria. What I have come to realize is, Nigerians don’t play when it comes to education. Every parent wants their child to be a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, or engineer. You better be successful in life and you better study….that’s it! By the time I got to high school with my superior lazy method of studying – the only thing I genuinely had any interest in was technical drawing (drafting by hand). I absolutely loved drafting. Mr. Carlos was our drafting teacher, and he was a gift. By my final year in high school, Mr. Carlos had trained us to draw within 90 mins, a Plan, an elevation and section with the smallest details including title blocks, dimensions, labelling and line weights (all by hand).
Transition - “Coming to America”, my transition to Temple University with my superior lazy method of studying still intact. My attention span was for drafting and drafting alone. Here is this Nigerian girl in a new environment, new school, no friends and just plain lonely. Keep in mind that intense training we got from Mr. Carlos to what I was being taught as a freshman at Temple University. It was like going from bootcamp to nursery school. I was expected to know what a collage was, make a collage and use it to convey my design ideas. I was afraid to ask what a collage was due to the fear of being laughed at. So, I pretended a lot and went along with everything. For a project, we went trash picking because some famous architect in the past sketched something – didn’t like it – crumbled the paper - trashed it – and I guess he ended up liking the shape the paper made in the trash and that was the inspiration for the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain by Frank Gehry. (can’t believe I remember that little bit of info). Needless to say…..I WAS SO LOST!. Nothing made sense to me. I was confused and didn’t understand what any of these had to do with architecture and building or designing anything. (I might have missed the part where the professors explained the benefits of finding inspiration from anything) again, not the best student. All I remember is, I was lost for the first 2yrs of my education at TU.
The Story - Now that you have the background knowledge of my experience as an international student, here’s the story of one of the hardest moments at TU. I believe it was my second semester Freshman year or first semester Sophomore year – I had this Jewish professor who taught my architecture studio class. This was my first encounter with a Naysayer. It was during review/evaluations that he chose to tell me that I carried myself with such pride and arrogance, but my designs/work was subpar. He said, I would never amount to anything in this industry and that I should just change course now. He would understand the pride and arrogance if my work was actually worth it, but its not. He suggested I quit architecture and do something else. He said this with certainty, with the intent to break my spirit. I didn’t expect much from the review, but I certainly didn’t expect that. I left his office and I can’t remember if I thanked him or was just speechless. I went straight to the ladies room, paced for a bit and I just broke down and cried! I’m not the type that cries – but on this day, I needed it, I deserved a good cry. I remember this meeting being right before class or during studio class. Still in the ladies room, I got up, washed my face, and went right back to the class he told me to quit. I walked into that class like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just try to derail me and decimate me at the same time. I walked in there like I owned the place (arrogance my tush) and I didn’t care what his opinions were. The look on his face as I walked right past him said a lot of things.
1. He couldn’t believe I showed up after that horrific attempt to break me
2. I showed up like it didn’t even happen
3. The disbelief on his face solidified to me that he intentionally wanted to hurt me and he failed at doing that as well.
Moral of this story – As a professor who is meant to nurture and teach young minds – there are many ways to advice a student on what path they need to take and if they need to change a carrier path. Breaking their spirit shouldn’t be the delivery method.
Today – I can proudly say I am the founder of a Design/Build company – Rocks + Cornerstones. I just launched a new business called R+C Furnishes and we will also be launching R+C Staging within the next few months. I started this blog to tell my story and how I have grown to the successful woman that I am today. There will always be some people that will doubt you regardless of what you do. As long as you believe in yourself and your ability to achieve your set goals, you are always going to be a step ahead.
I don’t live my life based on other’s expectations of me. I live for God and my family.
Monumental yet Insignificant – This moment that happened oh so long ago was both monumental and yet insignificant. Monumental in the sense that I did not let that one person see how hurt I felt or that his attempt to break me brought me to tears. Monumental in the sense that, his words did not determine the outcome of my life. I refused to believe him. I refused to give him power. No, I did not know that at the time - all I knew was this was my dream and I will fail till I stopped failing.
This moment is yet so insignificant in the end. Insignificant to a point that – I can’t remember what this man’s name is today. If I saw him today, I would not recognize him. I would walk right past him. Looking back now, I realize that this was a teaching moment. A moment that shows the power of perseverance and persistence. I could have given up on my dreams that day and let this one person who did not even leave a lasting impression in my life long enough to remember his name derail me – but I chose to stay in an uncomfortable position, a situation where I was clearly told I was not wanted and it wasn’t for me. Ultimately, I should thank this no named man for doubting me. Just like I thank everyone that has ever doubted me and told me I couldn’t do it. These people are probably the coal that lights the fire in me. The need to prove that I AM WORTH IT, and I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO IS MY STRENGTH.
I DID IT!
